BLACK COFFEE AND BLACKOUT TRAIN TRIPPING
DRAG TO DRAIN DUMPS; HIGH ON VICTIMHOOD
TAKE MY MANTLE AND WIN THE TRAUMA OLYMPICS
I WAS PARALYSED WITH OVERDOSE SILLY GOOSE
ANYTHING BUT A SMILE. ANYTHING BUT A TOUCH
I SHAKE LIKE A LEAF IN THE SHAPE OF PAIN
TAKE AS NEEDED FOR PAIN, PAIN
oh no never not me
i was control i was the princess in the tower
and a dragon told me to be silent
mother taught me to scream
and i had the doctors say
lock him away in his ribcages
i love the country, born from bones
i love the lie, lie lie lie the snake i am
And now back to our regular programming
the kitten murdered by the big black dog
the blood is on your conscience
keep me alive and watch it go all wrong
world coated in cellophane and cigarettes
suckle on the tar teat on the birthsuit baby
anorexia indistinguishable from jesus-hood
leotard slow down as we all float to heaven
on a little rowboat with a monkey and a drunk
snapped wires and snapped on the neuron ways
tightrope walking on the sidewalk ways
Baby baby was a billy goat bluff gruff
and scarred at 2200 outside the felael joint
i wanna have some fun with it, the dread of the tomorrow today
the perp on the birth walk the trauma talk
you wanna hurt me and I don't want the pain no more
a music comes from nowhere and knocks on the door
answer me. it's for morale and sleep at night
pillbox give a bow to the war in my head
let slip the dogs with teeth like witches
live fast love fast die fast
life's an inhalant intranasal
intraspection navel gazing
grazing on the fruits of my labour
demeter and i met for coffee on opioids
worse than the time before, time again
beyond the pale of the big black dog
with a kitten in its teeth
nostalgic for a time that never was
chatting in the sick bay
with mr. wolf and white mold rabbits
take a look inside my brain and feel the pain
laugh, it hurts less to cry
i gave a peck on the cheek to mrs midas
touch me with a rhythm stick sick
dead (to me) and lovely
ride the wave my pretty little thing
Spironolactone
cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold
dutch doctors pass the dutchie and the blood test
the doorway of an opera radio show. show me it all
drive my cartoon to the supermarket
thunder and the roar. i am a bitch
you must say goodbye to me
wishbone and a t-rex pasta meal
tell your friends, it's 6pm on a friday
Hold your breath bombshell blonde in the drain
full figure eights round the back bend brain
the dogs howl and i listen to beefheart
blue and black
compliments to the chef and front porch tears
her lovin makes my thought disorder dinner order
tactile hallucinations by gaslight
i'm a cold heart and hands that bleed black
the grass is greener wherever you lay your head
old time religion affliction fiction
roses are thorns with pretty faces in rows
god gone doggone lonesome and living livid
you're a worry, you know that?
My medication is a national treasure trove
trinkets and tricksies and bipolar
reflection on religion on my mind
i have my friends to thank for that
an accomplice in the intrusive thought
a perfect crime perfect person
peruse the magazines in the waiting room
the ants and the anthills, nothing left but bones
look what you did to your arms. hug me like you do
would i let the sun fall out of the sky?
would i let the sky swallow the gods of the gutters
ghosts ride the waves and speak in mantras
i am cursed with touch and feeling
doctor ditty dirty heroin baby
amongst the gum trees and dead things
the meatgrinder of the suburbs
playing with toys with a red right hand
of god from canadian AA groups on the couch
fear in a box of dvds that don't work
no more, no more, what have you done
make a routine and do the math
clean up, look ma, no scars!
sex sex sex burn burn burn
baby in the gumtrees i feel dirty again
it is my fate, fake fuck and a laughter
in the language of love i am a card reader
I have come to the confusion conclusion
the shakes return, this time it's personal
the neuroshocked and socks off psycho
lose my touch and buy the bank with tears
incoherent vocalisations like tight pants opera
soap and shampoo and a shopping list
like a obituary or a discharge
No war won is no one remembered
i don't need a gun to play russian roulette
and my favourite colour is red
i find myself gutterbound and shaking
my favourite words are sorry and goodbye
magic in how they taste in a kiss per pill
i was only as old as the day was cold
Bury the fire and cover my tracks with breadcrumbs
i hid the smoking gun in with the medicolegalities
microaggressions on many medications, trigger warning
wizard of the ward and window wiper brainpower
my horse! my horse! my kingdom for another hit
neuroshock and a smile
i took a break from the blackouts baby
and the emotions like a meat 3 veg 8 days a week
weak at the knees and a mind like lazy old cloud
keep it on the downlow download doc
load on my back and i am a packmule
for the memories that wish you wish you threw away
misplaced missy laced the life with lucifer's diamonds
i boarded up the windows, locked the door with a chair
broke loose the lucy in the sky from cloud nine bonds
i paid mine in bus fares and fey unfair fantasy
i wished on a shooting star and a baptism of beer
And so I built a city of myocytes and ECG readings
they didn't let me near the kettle black and walls white
melt a heart and watch the pigeons in the rain
where a playground and children's cry used to live
and i will die as all things will, hiding in the curtains
Spark and a spill of blood and amniotic fluid
the computer is a home for lost little kittens
nymphomania in the leishmania risk
she was named after her eyes and lived for a year or two
a spark in a notebook under the bed, under the covers
my first crush was carmelita, a dull black flash inside out
Unpeeled the spark synapse in a nap and a tear in the cellophane sky
the cocaine blues were a spark for a wildfire
and a broken door and a brick down by the creek
down by the road to peace, the first spark in the nuclear bomb
death, destroyer of world and the first spark in the situationship
mothership father sank into the couch and took no pills
a spark is all it took for man to be a real man
no homo erectus in this household
all electronic sparks and spritz and spastic movements of the legs
the shakes are getting worse, i become the media man in media res
my story was a spark on a page, that page was accepted by the cops
and the lawyers and the dogs and the gods, the cat named sparks
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