miss you

murakami and bukowski, ate my heart out of my hand

it's only meat anyhow, the tabloids say in greek to me

Hey, I’m really worried about you.

You’re not making a lot of sense and it sounds like your body’s in trouble.

I care too much about you to ignore it. I think we need help.

Are you ready for the third world war?

Pack your bags, we're going mad

down by the river where the world ends

Says who, the question marked the way

nightMares and march hares

Mankind is not kind, it can keep outta here

i gotta see the hills before i die

when i die, gimme drano

let me live amongst the pines

with the parrots and the tv sets

bottles and pillboxes misery guts

a gust of wind swept sunshine

cheap as a razor and a runragged

i don't take no-one's advice

By now I know what i know

And what want i get

and you don't deserve

to touch me, healing hands

of the kind of kings

that I left in the family home

where did you sleep last night

i slept for 7 hours in 40

i have a cold cold heart and

nothing else matters

A whole hole in the shape of a heart

where the stairs were born and digging down

the new and the old and the bloody cold fingers

on the windows that don't close right

and i got the strange feeling

that everything will be beautiful

and i think i'm the ugliest man

pruning the branches and trimming the roses

i speak in medicolegal tongues tasting rain

take as needed for pain, avoid the fire frame

i painted a picture of a girl in the dark

for i couldn't see the forest for the trees

through her matted hair and batted brain

I fell asleep on the rumble bus on the way to nowhere in particular

the teeth rattled and the chattel catty chatted

The flashes of somewhere out the window

was quite unlike what I've known

it had an honesty to it that I was unused to

and i was never going home again

I hadn't taken this bus, this long, this far, not for a long time at least

In spite of a fear that wouldn't leave me alone, and a funny young lass

I fell asleep on the rumble bus feeling like nothing in particular

the teeth rattled and the chattel chatted catty and concentric

so far away from home, I watched the windows from behind closed eyes

the flashes of when my mind and eyes opened like butterfly wings

the flashes of somewhere else out the windows to the world

it had an honesty to it, and the streets wore a wry smile

i was unused to it all and i took the thrill like a daily pill

the trees were few and far between, following the train tracks

and i began to come to, the lullaby of the engine turned cacophonous

the voice of god came from the cabin, and we all got off

as the bus broke down and the tears fell with the evening drizzle

i wish i had ever seen the snow

and the fear turned to hunger, and the hunger turned to me

and led me to some falafel joint along with the rest of the pack

and i had a hookah high off of the oils and the chickpeas

and i ate until i felt sick, so i left into the rain to steady myself

and wondered if this is what beauty is

night mare about a friend dying

So, uh, a few years back, maybe 3 or 4 by now, fuck has that flown

i used to live with this girl

nice little house near a memorial on the train tracks, christ

she didn't like my girl none

and she made me realise i hated the pig anyhow

so i don't blame her, not for nothing

she was a real shortstack shit until you looked her in the eyes

naturally for the area, she carried a knife with her

little thing did her no good, in the end

and i used to tell her that i had no one else to miss

when i had to go away every once in a while

and so did she, fair bit to be honest.

on that knife actually

i was the second person to see her body

the first, of course, was whoever murdered her

and i almost remember that knife more than her face

untouched. they said it was a suicide.

but she wouldn't do that to me

not to herself for that matter. not to her friends

took me a while to tell them. tell anyone

because first thought. first thought that it was me, right?

i was the only one there. I was the only one there.

but i had no motive, right?

i took walk. long one. found myself in a parking lot

i think she used to work there, shopping mall.

can't remember the store. been a while n all.

and i sat there and waiting.

watched the women and the world go by.

i ignored my phone. put on some music.

and when everyone walked outta work

i walked on home to an empty house.

called her friend. he made nachoes and loved superman

he cried. called the cops. hope he's doing alright now.

i explained that i came home from work

took the day off really

and found her there.

the window was open

that was it

i'm only telling you this now

really, i don't know why

but i only cried about it last night.

first time, really, first time i cried

fuck, in so long. maybe it's the pills.

but why last night?

i dunno. i know i haven't slept.

doesn't feel like i have since that day

i dunno. i slept in that day.

and i haven't since.

i haven't got no one to miss no more